I need help polishing my practice college resume. Any suggestions?

Heres a rough draft:

I was doing quite well in my ninth grade English class, so my English teacher decided to recommend me to an honors English course. So I thought about it over night knowing that an honors course will be much more difficult than any other course I had taken before. Knowing that I will need to take more advance classes in the future anyways, considering the fact that a university is rarely going to accept any student who has never challenge themselves or attended advance classes, I decided to sign up for an English honors class.

I have never had any honors courses in school before. Knowing that I will need to have more than just non-honors courses in my high school year, I decided to start by going to an English honors course in the tenth grade. It is definitely much more difficult than a non-honors English course. The week started off by recapping some of the books that were required to be red in the summer. I learn a lot about writing an essay as well as about a book鈥檚 theme. I also learn a lot about analyzing a book beyond just the storyline.

Within the first week, the class began on an essay about one of the books that were required to be red in the summer. Before, the only thing I knew about writing an essay is summarizing a storyline and maybe conjuring up a theme or moral. But in this class, it is completely different. The essays involved a huge amount of thinking about the author鈥檚 intention of the book and the theme as well as relating all the elements of the book in one common theme.

Although my first honors essay did not came out so well, I was able to learn from my mistakes. A bad grade on a first essay is not something to loathe around about, but to learn from. As months passed by and more essays were being assigned, I learned more and more about writing a good essay and used my past essays as examples of what I have done wrong and what I must do in order to improve. Pretty soon I became much better in writing an essay than ever.

In the first quarter of my school year in the tenth grade, I wasn鈥檛 doing very well on my essay assignments and thought that my quarter report card will surely come out a 鈥淐鈥?or even worse. When the quarter semester report cards came in, to my surprise, I actually got a grade above average in my class. Although, I have received an above average grade, I knew I must work a lot harder in class in order to improve my English skills as well as keep up my grades instead of just staying the same. So I studied the books I was assigned with more detail and improved more and more until I was getting higher rated grades on my essay.

Even though I realized how much there is of a difference between an honors course and a non-honors course, I did not become demoralized to stop taking this honors course for the following year. Instead, it is quite the opposite. I will challenge myself even further by taking even more advance courses in the following year. In fact I will make sure that each year of school that I attend from now on will be more challenging than the year before. I will do this because life is all about moving forward in order to accept more challenges and without those challenges, I will learn nothing and gain nothing.

I always know that everything in school as well, as life in general, will only become more and more challenging as I move on towards the future. Passing a semester in my first honors course with a 鈥淏鈥?has definitely given me more confidence in doing things that I thought were too difficult or impossible before. After passing an honors course, I have shown myself that I have more capability than I have ever imagined and now I can do much more than any other time in my life. Although the future will become more challenging, I know my perseverance will always pull me through those challenges and I will gain more knowledge from the mistakes I make.

I need help polishing my practice college resume. Any suggestions?

1. Write about something else. Sorry to be harsh, but this was dull dull DULL! (. . .and will be for college admissions committees 鈥?I鈥檝e actually served on a few.)

2. In addition to being dull, your writing lacked any structure making it difficult to read. Remember general writing concepts, i.e. an introduction, supporting body and conclusion. Also, remember to include topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs and make sure that there are transitions and flow of ideas between paragraphs.

3. Edit your work! Avoid grammar and spelling errors. There were many dangling sentences, a lack of flow between concepts, repetition and mispellings.

4. Be concise.

I would recommend Strunk %26amp; White鈥檚 Elements of Style. It鈥檚 a classic writing resource to help you tighten up your writing and avoid common errors.

Sorry if my comments seem harsh, but it鈥檚 just my honest opinion.

Take it or leave it.

Good luck.