Please revise my 190-word essay..!?

This is my homework for ESL and my teacher is really picky about grammatical mistakes.. Please tell me if there%26#039;re mistakes.

-Japanese law is prohibiting capital punishment, which is the legal killing of a person who has committed a serious crime. This should be allowed mainly for three reasons. First, capital punishment helps to reduce crime rates. Being imprisoned for life and being put to death is absolutely different because every living thing has a strong desire to live. If capital punishment is allowed, people will take committing a crime more seriously. Second, people have the right to live safely. Many people assert the criminals閳?right, but there are other people閳ユ獨 right, too. If criminals are not put to death and live somewhere in the world, people can閳ユ獩 be relieved. Finally, it doesn閳ユ獩 make sense that victims and their families have to pay tax to serve criminals. It costs much money to commit criminals to jail, and victims and their families will feel... (continue)

Please revise my 190-word essay..!?

YOu should really do that yourself...you can%26#039;t go trusting complete strangers.

Please revise my 190-word essay..!?

provide examples from history unless it has to be 190 words and thats the max. In the last line, take out much and put in a lot because of grammar.

Please revise my 190-word essay..!?

I read it and wonder what point you really want to make. Maybe you should re-read it and ask yourself the same question.

Personally, I like the removal of limbs and other body parts for various crimes. Like removal of male parts for sex offenders (you think it would slow them down a bid).

Please revise my 190-word essay..!?

Here you go...I ran it through my college%26#039;s center for writing excellence and made the necessary corrections.

Japanese law is prohibiting capital punishment, which is the legal killing of a person whom has committed a serious crime. This should be allowed mainly for three reasons. First, capital punishment helps to reduce crime rates. Being imprisoned for life and being put to death is absolutely different because every living thing has a strong desire to live. First, if capital punishment is allowed, people will take committing a crime more seriously. Second, people have the right to live safely. Many people assert the criminals閳?rights but others have rights as well. If criminals are not put to death and live somewhere in the world instead, people can閳ユ獩 be relieved. Finally, it doesn閳ユ獩 make sense that victims and their families have to pay taxes to serve criminals; it costs too much money to commit criminals to jail, and victims and their families will feel put out.

Please revise my 190-word essay..!?

The whole thing is wrong. Capital punishment does not reduce the crime rate. At all. Its a proven fact. Plus its way cheaper in the US to house a criminal for his entire natural life than it is to put them to death and deal with all of the expensive appeals. Plus being put to death is preferable to most inmates than to spending the rest of their lives in a maximum security unit... Just saying.

You%26#039;re puncuation looks very nice though.

criminals閳? should be criminal%26#039;s

It costs much money to --should be-- It costs much more money to

Please revise my 190-word essay..!?

You need to attract your audience from the start. Well, that%26#039;s what i like to think. For example, In Japan, there is a controversial issue dividing the country.

Please revise my 190-word essay..!?

Japanese law is prohibiting capital punishment, which is the legal killing of a person who has committed a serious crime. This should be allowed mainly for three reasons. (You might want to consider a smoother transition) First, capital punishment helps to reduce crime rates. Being imprisoned for life and being put to death is absolutely different because every living thing has a strong desire to live. If capital punishment is allowed, people will take committing a crime more seriously. Second, people have the right to live safely. Many people assert the criminals閳?right, but other people have rights also. If criminals are not put to death and live in the common world, people can閳ユ獩 live a reasonably safe life. Finally, it doesn閳ユ獩 make sense that victims and their families have to pay taxes to serve criminals. It costs a lot of money to commit criminals to jail, and victims and their families will feel a strong irony about paying money for the men who harmed them. Capital punishment reduces crime rates, guarantees the right of the people to live safely, and solves the irony of victims paying taxes for the criminals. Capital punishment should be allowed. It would be a better solution for everyone.

I changed some wording a bit. It is now 196 words sorry if that is too much. There were some grammer mistakes and I fixed them also. Hope that helped!

Please revise my 190-word essay..!?

not bad, some mistakes: is absolutely different,

criminals%26#039; rights

peoples%26#039; rights

pay taxes

(continued)

Please revise my 190-word essay..!?

are absolutely different

other people%26#039;s rights, too

should have to pay taxes to house criminals

will find it quite ironic to pay money for

and solves the irony of victims paying taxes

guarantees the people%26#039;s rights

These are the amendments I noticed. I hope I did not miss any. What you need to do, however, is break up the essay into paragraphs viz.

1) Japanese law.....

2) First....

3) Second....

4) Finally....

5) Capital punishment reduces....

Hope this helps!

Please revise my 190-word essay..!?

This is my homework for ESL and my teacher is really picky about grammatical mistakes.. Please tell me if there%26#039;re mistakes.

-Japanese law is prohibiting capital punishment, which is the legal killing of a person who has committed a serious crime. This should be allowed mainly for three reasons. First, capital punishment helps to reduce crime rates. Being imprisoned for life and being put to death is absolutely different because every living thing has a strong desire to live. If capital punishment is allowed, people will take committing a crime more seriously. Second, people have the right to live safely. Many people assert the criminals閳?right, but there are other people閳ユ獨 rightS, too. If criminals are not put to death and live somewhere in the world, people can閳ユ獩 FEEL RELIEF. Finally, it doesn閳ユ獩 make sense that victims and their families have to pay tax to serve criminals. It costs much money to commit criminals to jail, and victims and their families will feel... (continue)

54 minutes ago - 3 days left to answer.