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Carpe Diem.

Seize the day. Do I have to? This is the first day of class and I閳ユ獡 having paranoia again. I閳ユ獡 concerned about who my colleagues are, what kind of terror my teachers will turn out to be, or what my subjects are. But my least concern is if there is someone - a junior or a senior maybe, who knows the school quite well - who has a very good heart to volunteer to orient me regarding the campus. But it閳ユ獨 pretty impossible, I think. No one would ever like to at least, approach me. I am fifteen years old overweight brunette who have a deformed chin, an awkward lips and a bothering nose. Everything about me is disgusting. Well, except for, maybe my attitude. One thing, I am very sincere. My father is a pastor in Evergreen and I go there quite frequently - sometimes with him, sometimes alone閳?I enjoy reaching out a hand to people, calling God閳ユ獨 name, and spreading His Word. I閳ユ獡 pretty weird, but I know anyone would like me, I閳ユ獡 sure of it.

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Please rate my work as well...tnx

Excerpt from my story... Please read! Do you like it?

You have an interesting beginning! Your sentence about %26quot;your%26quot; self-description needs some editing: %26quot;overweight brunette who...%26quot; (you should use has rather than %26quot;have%26quot;, omit %26quot;an%26quot; before %26quot;awkward lips%26quot;, and substitute another word for %26quot;bothering%26quot; in regard to your %26quot;nose%26quot;). If your heroine is actually fictitious (if you are not writing autobiographically), she/you will hopefully improve her self-image as the story progresses! Continue writing and see what happens; it%26#039;s difficult to judge it accurately from one short paragraph. Good luck!

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Thanks for the Best Answer, and I%26#039;ll be waiting to read your story -- good luck! Report It

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I wish there more descriptors in the beginning about where the person is. It could be developed a little more, but it%26#039;s not terrible.

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It%26#039;s ok but I think its a little to obvious. What i mean is that Showing that it is the first day of class is better than saying it, i think. Other than that it sound interesting - well done

Excerpt from my story... Please read! Do you like it?

It sounds like an interesting story. However, there are some grammar errors (i.e., there should be an %26quot;a%26quot; after %26quot;am%26quot; and before %26quot;fifteen...%26quot; There should be a comma before %26quot;at least%26quot; and there should be no comma after %26quot;except for%26quot;) This sounds like a story that I would like to read. Keep on writing! (and make sure to check for grammar errors.)